DON’T DO IT!

Warner Brothers wants to make a TV show out of the comic/graphic novel Sandman by Neil Gaiman. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are going to ruin it, as all good literature is ruined when turned into TV shows or movies. I can only think of a couple of examples when a piece of literature was adapted for the screen and turned out well. I am terribly upset. Here is the article.

I am now going to make a list of literature that has been turned into crap. Please feel free to add to it in the comments. And note that I’m only bitching about movies that I have seen, or refused to see on moral grounds. I may be missing some. I am giving the title of the work of literature first. If anybody knows me, they know that bitching about this kind of stuff is a hobby of mine. Especially when I have been drinking.

Bad Adaptions:

• We Can Remember it for You Wholesale (Philip K. Dick, short story turned into Total Recall, which I might add, was then turned into a book called Total Recall by Piers Anthony, one of my favorite authors)
• Minority Report (Philip K. Dick, a short story turned into a movie of the same title with Tom Cruise. The short story basically took place in one building!! Why the hell is Cruise running all over the place for???! Refused to see this).
• Second Variety (Philip K. Dick, a short story turned into Screamers, which wasn’t too bad)
• A Scanner Darkly (Philip K. Dick, a novel turned into a movie of the same name, starring Keanu Reeves – don’t even get me started. Didn’t see it.)
• I, Robot (Isaac Asimov, an anthology of his stories recording the history of the evolution of robots, so it’s not even one story, turned into I, Robot crap with Will Smith)
• I am Legend (Richard Matheson, a novella with NO DOG IN IT, turned into another crappy Will Smith movie where he has a dog. I don’t blame the dog. I have not seen other adaptions such as the Omega Man so I can not comment on those. I refused to see this one.)
• Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams, a novel turned into a movie of the same name – oh my god what the hell were they thinking?? You don’t go slapping Vogons around with your towel! That is not what a towel is for, damnit!)
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (F. Scott Fitzgerald, a short story that is totally different from the movie of the same name, and even though Brad Pitt is HOT, and I didn’t see the movie, I know from what I’ve heard that it is way too different.)

Some that are good:

• A Clockwork Orange, Fight Club, Trainspotting, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (I haven’t read any of these books, but I love the movies).
• The Shining (Steven King)
• Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (Philip K. Dick, turned into Bladerunner – alright if you don’t compare too closely)
• Coraline (Neil Gaiman- although I felt that it differed A LOT from the book, I enjoyed how it looked.)
• PBS does a good job of turning Agatha Christie novels into 1-hour shows, especially the stories with Hercule Poirot.
• Harry Potter movies
• The Ring books

Okay, now I’m tired of writing so I may add more tomorrow.

 

WOMEN SHOULD COME WITH WARNING LABELS

My mom likes to send me all the emails of jokes that people send to her. I thought one of her recent emails was funny.

A guide for men when dealing with women:

I think more marriages would last if men brought their women a glass of wine every evening. And doughnuts.

And here’s a list of things PMS can stand for:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching  Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff
12. Potential  Murder Suspect

 

WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING? #2

As we continue with What the Hell Were They Thinking Thursdays, our second installment brings us some “one of a find” artwork from CB2, which is Crate and Barrel’s store for “living large at small prices.” First off their prices are not that small. But the main complaint is that they have this “one of a find” artwork that is “one time only original works created in collaboration with passionate artisans.” Here is what some of their artisans have created, and that they are selling for $300!!

It’s string on a stick. My cats could make that for much much cheaper. But of course, it’s already sold out online. By the way, the bottom picture is actually two pieces, so it’s $600 worth of string on sticks!! I can buy a lot of stuff with that kind of money, like 20 books or 8 puppies from the animal shelter. Or 10 books and 5 puppies.

 

ADORABLENESS FOR APPELINA

This video is for my friend Appelina. For those of you who missed the previous post, I’m now calling my friend A Appelina cuz I think it sounds pretty and makes me think of apples, which are sweet and crunchy, although I don’t think she’s crunchy.

This video was found on I Has a Hot Dog.