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Tag Archives: what the hell were they thinking

UNICORN HORN, ANYONE?

I don’t think there’s anything that I can say that is better than the picture. A picture says a thousand words and all that. You can buy this!

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2012 in geekery, naughtiness, shopping

 

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BREAKFAST – THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY

Now you can drink the most important meal of the day. Have some nice waffle flavored vodka with a side of bacon flavored vodka! I feel scared.

 

 

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2012 in food and drink

 

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VAMPIRE CIRCUS

Within two minutes I was about to turn this movie off because it was just SO DAMN HORRIBLE!!!!

But then the first vampire died who was just absolutely annoying so I thought, okay, maybe I can deal with this. I mean, would you want to watch a movie with this guy in it for 90 minutes?

So I kept watching and was rewarded with a midget clown!!

There is also a lady painted in tiger stripes:

And she’s just in a G-sring and paint. Plus there is the magic of editing! Where for once second there is a black panther and then in the next it has magically transformed into a vampire!! How did they do that?

There’s also a strong man in a leather skirt for the ladies.

So for these things we can overlook bad acting, bad dialogue, bad sets, bad costumes, and of course absolutely no historical accuracy whatsoever.

Okay, this bit is so hilarious that I had to stream the movie on my laptop so I could do a screen capture and take the image myself. A VAMPIRE WITH CAVITIES!!!!

 

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2011 in movies, naughtiness

 

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UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS!!

Atrocities like this only come around once a generation. It is almost too horrible to describe, and those dared to gaze upon it shudder and wake screaming in the night. It is known as…CHERPUMPLE!!!

It appears to be a normal cake, but the trickle of goo is an ill omen.

Burnt offerings are placed upon it in an ancient ritual.

JB goes mad as he looks upon the horror.

Appelina smiles wickedly as she gazes upon the monstrosity that she brought into this world.

The sacrifice has begun!

Shield your eyes lest ye go mad!!

I am going mad just looking upon it! How can something such as this exist in a sane world? Cherry pie baked into a chocolate cake, on top of pumpkin pie baked into a yellow cake, on top of of an apple pie baked into a spice cake!! All topped with frosting and colorful sprinkles!! OH NO!!

 

Oh the horror of it all!!

Thankfully the monster cannot survive long in our world, and implodes upon itself, thus sparing all those who were not present at Appelina's and JB's BIRTHDAY PARTY OF DOOM.

And coming soon, REVENGE OF CHERPUMPLE!!!!

* Please excuse the blurry photos, I was drunk.

* If you every decide to attempt this horror, I suggest putting the pumpkin pie on the bottom, it’s more structurally sound than apple pie.

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2011 in birthdays, cakes

 

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I DO NOT ENDORSE THESE ADS

Today Hubby told me that there are Google ads on my blog. Since I’m logged in all the time I don’t see them. I logged out and checked out my site and a few others and I still didn’t see the ads, but I saw them on his computer. I don’t know why that is happening. But he did point out that one of the ads was for In-Home-Pet-Euthanasia! What the hell is up with that? It was even on my post of “Too Adorable.” I don’t want people to look at an absolutely adorable kitten and think of pet euthanasia! So I just want to make sure that people know I have nothing to do with them.

Here is a funny picture to make you feel better:

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2011 in complaints, me

 

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WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING #5

So the other day Hubby and I were coming home from running errands, and we’re at a stop sign near our apartment and there are kids walking home from elementary school. So it’s elementary school, these kids can’t be more than 10 years old, 11 tops. So one boy is skipping across the crosswalk, and seems very happy. BUT HE HAS MAN BOOBS!!!! They were bouncing as he skipped! At first we chuckled, but then the utter horror of the situation set it. A 10 year old so overweight that he had breasts. For those of you who don’t know what man boobs, or moobs, are, here’s a look from one of my favorite movies of all time:

When a child is in elementary school, they really don’t have much control over what they eat or how much activity they get. So this weight problem, unless it’s some thyroid thing, is the fault of the parents. How can they let their son be so fat? Give him healthier things to eat! Make him get off the couch and do something! Go to the park with him! He’s going to be diabetic by the time he’s 20 and then die of a heart attack before he reaches 30. It’s insane! Seeing kids like that totally makes me angry! I mean yes, I’m overweight, but that’s my own damn fault cuz I like food too much and have no willpower. But I would do everything possible not to let my child get like that!

 
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Posted by on September 30, 2010 in complaints

 

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WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING #4

So last Sunday Appelina and I went to a printmaking class in Santa Monica. As we left the parking lot to go to the class we saw four people with a brindle pit bull puppy holding it by the collar. We asked what was up and they said that a truck had gone by and the dog had jumped out of a window. They got the dog out of the street and tried to flag down the car but couldn’t. They said there were other dogs in the car so maybe the driver didn’t realize this one had jumped out. A traffic cop was there and he had called animal control and they were waiting for animal control to get there. These were four people from out of town who were doing a wonderful thing for this puppy. I forgot to take a picture of the puppy but he looked like this:

Just look how adorable that puppy is! The one from the truck was so cute and friendly, everyone was coming up to pet him and he was having a ball. I am going to rant in list form today. Here I go:

1. Put a damn seat belt on your dog, they sell attachments in pet stores. If you are going to keep your windows wide open, or keep your dog in the bed of your truck, secure the pup so he doesn’t get out!

2. Put a damn license on your dog’s collar! Not just a barbell key fob thing! If this dog had had a license tag on his collar we could have just called the owners, and then I could have yelled at them in person.

3. How can you not F*ing notice your dog fell out of your car you total a-hole? How would you like it if I shoved you out of a moving vehicle? Let’s see if you fare as well as your puppy!

4. Bastards should not be pet owners.

5. Stupid people should not be pet owners.

We consoled ourselves with the thought that this is a cute adorable puppy who is very friendly and if his owners do not pick him up at the shelter he will probably be adopted quickly, possibly to a better home.

My advice today: if you are stupid or a bastard or a stupid bastard, give your pets to a nice, smart person instead. They will know how to take care of them.

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2010 in complaints, dogs

 

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